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I’ve never met anyone who said they wanted to be a bad parent. Unfortunately, we are often given poor tools for being a parent. It’s also possible that two things can be true at the same time: your parents did the best they could with the tools they had AND you didn’t have your needs met. We tend to parent in ways that we were parented, even when we desperately want to be different. You can only use the tools you have. Breaking generational cycles of trauma is incredibly difficult work but it’s worth it! Parenting is difficult and exhausting and impacts every aspect of life. There are resources for learning new and better tools.

Medication is a tool to help reduce reactivity and anxiety or treat depression so that you can have better patience and engagement with your children. Working with a therapist who is skilled in addressing childhood trauma can help you understand where your reactivity comes from and help you learn tools to cope with frustration and lack of patience with your children. Parenting classes that teach from a loving and gentle space, using current research based practices can give you the tools to understand you children and their behavior so you can address it in the healthy way your deserved to have as a child.

We provide medication management at Season Health. Contact us for an appt.

I generally recommend using Psychology Today to find therapists who are a good fit. You can filter for your insurance and your issues needing addressed as well as gender and race so you can access culturally congruent care.

For help with parenting tools, I highly recommend Looking Glass Parent Coaching.

If your children are grown, it’s not too late! You did the best you could with the tools you had and it’s ok. You also may not have been everything your children needed. Many adult children simply need their parents to accept what their children are saying was their experience without making excuses, apologize, and work toward their own healing so they can be healthy grandparents and/or have fulfilling relationships with their adult children.